The women of Jerry, Part Two

Today we’ll move on to Season Two, which ran a whole 12 episodes! Seinfeld was living the dream! Let’s take a look at the women he dated during this season, which ran in 1991.

Season Two:

Episode One (6), “The Ex-Girlfriend” (aired 23 January 1991). In this episode, George dumps Marlene but leaves some books behind in her apartment. Jerry agrees to go pick them up, and he becomes involved with her. He tells Kramer she has a “psycho-sexual” hold over him. George, it turns out, doesn’t care. Marlene eventually dumps Jerry because she doesn’t like his act. Marlene is played by Tracy Kolis, who actually reappeared a few years later in an episode in a different role (she was the waitress whom George liked but was scared to ask out because she was too cool). She had roles in Mad About You, Coach, and NYPD Blue, so I guess that’s something! I’m going to give Ms. Kolis a Fame Rating of 3 out of 10, because her role as Jerry’s girlfriend is pretty memorable, far more than Lynn Clark in the first season. Kolis was 28 when the episode aired, and Jerry was 36. Not too bad an age gap.

She looked a lot better as the waitress, as her hair was short and awesome

Episode Two (7), “The Pony Remark” (aired 30 January 1991). Jerry kills a relative because he says only spoiled rich kids have ponies. Then he frets about whether he should go to his softball game or the funeral. He has no girlfriend in the episode.

Episode Three (8), “The Jacket” (aired 6 February 1991). Jerry again has no girlfriend. This is a great episode because of the presence of Laurence Tierney as Elaine’s father.

He never came back, which is a shame, because he was great

Episode Four (9), “The Phone Message” (aired 13 February 1991). In this episode, Jerry and his girlfriend argue about the Dockers commercial, and then she gets even more upset when he tells his friends about it. His girlfriend Donna is played by Gretchen German. Ms. German also guest-starred her way through the 1990s, although she never made a big splash. She was in Wings, Murder, She Wrote, Coach, NYPD Blue, Home Improvement, Deep Space Nine, Chicago Hope, and Beverly Hills 90210, and more recently she was on Modern Family and Criminal Minds. Her role on Seinfeld wasn’t as memorable as Marlene’s, but I’m still giving her a Fame Rating of 3 out of 10, because her role (among others) helped establish early on that the show was going to be about nothing, and she did a good job selling that concept. I have no idea how old Ms. German is, so I won’t even hazard a guess. This episode was early in her career, though, so I doubt she was 30 by the time it aired.

I’d break up with someone if they liked that Dockers commercial!

Episode Five (10), “The Apartment” (aired 4 April 1991). Jerry’s upstairs neighbor dies and Jerry gets Elaine into the building, then regrets it. He has no girlfriend in this episode.

Episode Six (11), “The Statue” (aired 11 April 1991). Jerry gets his apartment cleaned by a student who’s dating an author who Elaine is editing. The student supposedly steals a statue from Jerry’s apartment. No girlfriend. However, the woman who plays Rava, the girlfriend of the student, is excellent and very funny. She keeps smoking and doesn’t care if others are coughing, and she argues with Elaine about coincidences.

‘Will you put that cigarette out?’ ‘Maybe I put it out in your face!’

Episode Seven (12), “The Revenge” (aired 18 April 1991). George quits his job and then tries to get revenge. Jerry thinks the laundromat guy stole money from him and tries to get revenge. Jerry has no girlfriend.

Episode Eight (13), “The Heart Attack” (aired 25 April 1991). When George thinks he has a heart attack, he ends up in the hospital. The doctors tell him to get his tonsils out, but he sees a naturalist friend of Kramer’s first (a very funny Stephen Tobolowsky). Hilarity ensues. Jerry remains girlfriend-less.

Oh, Tor Eckman, you were so much fun

Episode Nine (14), “The Deal” (aired 2 May 1991). One of my all-time least favorite episodes. Elaine and Jerry think they can have sex and still remain friends, but they can’t. I suppose Elaine counts as his girlfriend in this one, so she gets a Fame Rating of 10 out of 10 (it’s Elaine, for crying out loud!). Why don’t I like this episode? At the end of the episode they’re still together! Did they work out a new deal? What is, indeed, the deal? When I first did these posts, I didn’t count her in my final totals (only one “real” girlfriend got a 10 out of 10), and I probably won’t this time, either. This is a dumb episode.

Episode Ten (15), “The Baby Shower” (aired 16 May 1991). Elaine holds a baby shower in Jerry’s apartment. The woman was George’s worst date ever. Kramer wants to hook up Jerry with illegal cable. Remember when that was a big deal? No girlfriend in sight!

Episode Eleven (16), “The Chinese Restaurant” (aired 23 May 1991). A classic. “Who’s Cartwright?” “I’m Cartwright!” But, alas, no girlfriend.

James Hong rules

Episode Twelve (17), “The Busboy” (aired 26 June 1991). George and Kramer allow a busboy’s cat to escape. Many hijinks thereafter! Jerry remains sans girlfriend!

Boy, the early years were rough on Jerry, weren’t they? 17 episodes in and he’s only had four girlfriends, really. We’ll check back in with the next season soon. Things might pick up for him then!

4 Comments

  1. William Wilson

    If I remember correctly Seinfeld was late night Sunday on BBC2 here in the UK. So I was surprised to find out how big it was in the USA.

    I might look for re runs as I never realised he was killer with no remorse.

    “Episode Two (7), “The Pony Remark” (aired 30 January 1991). Jerry kills a relative because he says only spoiled rich kids have ponies. Then he frets about whether he should go to his softball game or the funeral.”

    1. Greg Burgas

      William: I’m not quite sure when it became huge in the US. It certainly wasn’t yet during this season, but if I remember correctly, “The Chinese Restaurant” did a lot to raise its profile, because it was the first one where the whole “show about nothing” really took off, because almost nothing happened in the episode. It was literally about the three characters (Kramer doesn’t appear) waiting for a table.

      Yeah, Jerry fears he killed an old relative because he says that, and the woman tells him that when she was growing up in rural Poland, everyone had a pony. Then she dies not long afterward, and Jerry feels really guilty.

  2. I don’t believe that Seinfeld was ever really “a show about nothing.” I think the final episode makes the case really well; the show was an extended demonstration of our collective ability to tolerate any terrible behavior at all if we like the perpetrators.

    Jerry and friends are horrific narcissistic sociopaths who leave a swath of destruction in their wake everywhere they go, but because they are likable and amusing, we immediately and completely dismiss the consequences and forgive them of their misdeeds, usually to the point of denying that such misdeeds ever occurred. Even when they are thrown in prison for their monstrous actions over the previous decade, we’re still on their side.

    And here’s the point: Take a long, hard, objective and honest look at all the people in your life, all the politicians and celebrities you admire, and finally admit it if any of them are horrible people. And stop making horrible people famous.

    1. Greg Burgas

      Jim: Ah, you’re no fun. It can be both! Of course the four stars were horrible people, but I would argue we’re not on their side, necessarily, because they always, always get their comeuppance, even before they get thrown in jail. Yes, Jerry is a successful comedian, and Kramer never seems to need to work, but they’re all desperately lonely individuals who never have a moment of honest emotional attachment to anyone, and even when they do (Elaine and the Bizarro World, for instance), they screw it up immediately and get sent back to their hellish existence. Maybe some people were on “their side,” but I think the reason people objected to the finale was because they didn’t need to get thrown in jail … because they had constructed their own prisons throughout their lives and were already living in them!!!!!!! 🙂

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