What Was Up With ‘Wizard,’ #19: June 2000

I’m back, and it’s time to get swept up in X-Men Movie Mania, as well as check out what Wizard thinks is the “best” of everything in issue #105!!!!

The letter column begins with an old “you-won’t-print-this-letter” challenge, as McLauchlin dutifully notes, but it is an interesting letter — the person is wildly offended by Preacher (which is “just an excuse to bash God and religion”) and wonders why all the cool writers dig it. If, opines he, the best writers in comics are “nothing more than a bunch of anti-Christian church haters,” then “this industry is in worse shape than I thought.” Phew. I mean, as I always say, if an unflattering depiction of your religious figures in fiction pisses you off, perhaps your faith isn’t as strong as you claim it is, and while, sure, Preacher does bash God, who really cares? Does this writer really think that’s the actual God (if God exists, which, let’s face it, the evidence is scant). McLauchlin does check with some writers who offer thoughtful responses, even though the correct answer to this person is:

I don’t think McLauchlin could have made a gif work in a magazine, though.

Another writer wants to know what happened to Bill Mantlo, among a few other writers, and I didn’t realize Mantlo’s accident happened so long ago, because he was already in dire straits by now. It happened in 1992, which, dang. Mantlo is still with us, and I hope there are people at least making his life bearable. A different writes asks about Trent Kaniuga and what happened to him after he burst onto the scene as a 16-year-old in 1994. Kaniuga disappeared into video game development, which I guess makes him happy, as he still seems to be doing it today. Good for him!

Moving on, we get a two-page article about … the Sentry. I mentioned this last time that Wizard had a brief item about it, and here we are, with a full-on article. Reading it with hindsight, some of it sounds hinky — the hype Marvel is straining for seems a bit overblown, but then, Marvel loves the hype — but it’s certainly not inconceivable that Lee could have co-created a “Marvel Superman” before the Fantastic Four. If it had happened today, it would have been easier to debunk, because the artist they credit — Artie Rosen — did not exist. Wizard was in on it; in the April issue (which I don’t own), they ran an obituary for Rosen! I wonder how many people twigged to it because they know their Silver Age history and knew Rosen didn’t exist, but it did work, because The Sentry comic, which came out not too long after this magazine hit the stands, was a hit. Good for Marvel and Jenkins!

In “The Buzz Bin” on page 32, Wizard notes that Stan Lee is going to be doing some DC heroes in an “Elseworlds”-type setting. I wonder how that worked out …? There’s also an announcement that Ed Brubaker and Brian Vaughan (no fancy “K” yet!) will be alternating stories on Batman. I’m glad DC never did anything to piss off Brubaker and he continued writing great stuff for them for years!!!! Speaking of finding old things, Neil Gaiman had found an old Green Lantern/Superman script and thought DC might like to publish it, and they did as Legend of the Green Flame. There’s als a brief item about “up-and-comer” Brian Azzarello, even though 100 Bullets had already blown up, so he wasn’t too much of one anymore. In their “thumbs down” section, they decry Marvel raising the price of their comics to $2.25 and (gasp) $2.50, with DC coming up right behind them. Nobody will buy comics for that price!!!!

As an amuse-bouche to the main theme of the magazine, Wizard offers up “The Greatest Year in Comics,” and if you thought they said anything but 1986, well, you don’t know comics very well, do you? Of course it’s 1986 — even someone curmudgeonly and contrary as I am won’t argue that! They list: Watchmen, “Batman: Year One,” “The Dark Knight Returns,” the beginning of Dark Horse Comics, the Mutant Massacre story, “Born Again,” Maus, and the reboot of Superman, which would make a good decade, but they also skip the end of CoIE, for instance, because there’s not enough space!

We get a photo collage of everyone who attended the launch party of Stan Lee Media, which was quite a scene. George Hamilton, Lou Ferrigno, Dean Cain, Dick Clark, James Caan, the Lawrences Joey and Matthew, Donny Most, Anthony Michael Hall, David Faustino, Tracy Scoggins, and Red Buttons all show up on these pages, and man, that would have been the party to attend, I tell you what! A few pages later, we get a “first look” at another Black Bull title, Shadow Hunters. I guess this name got changed to Shadow Reavers and five issues came out, but it sounds pretty generic, if you ask me. I wonder why it got such coverage in the magazine?!?!?

Wizard has another “greatest” category on page 44, with a brief article about the “Greatest Comeback,” spotlighting Ennis’s work on The Punisher. I mean, sure. They highlight some other great comics comebacks — the X-Men in the 1970s, Alan Moore in the late 1990s (I mean, I guess, but it’s not like he ever actually went anywhere), Daredevil under Palmiotti and Joey Q, Chris Claremont on his return to the X-Men (which is funny considering how short it lasted), the renewed interest in the Avengers and Fantastic Four, George Pérez, and William Shatner. I know the last one is a bit of a joke, but when you consider that the Shat is 95-MOTHERFUCKING-YEARS-OLD AND STILL OUT THERE DOING SHIT, that might be the most impressive “comeback” of all.

On page 54, we get an article about Gorilla Comics, the ultimately ill-fated imprint set up by Busiek, Waid, Pérez, and Kelly. Before the magazine even went to print, Kelly had bailed on Gorilla, as Wizard notes in an addendum to the article, so … that wasn’t great. Some of the Gorilla books were quite good, but it never really took off, and I don’t know if I simply skipped the bit about Crimson Plague back in the day or just forgot, but … the main character’s menstrual blood is toxic? Did George Pérez vet this with literally any woman on the planet before coming up with it? I mean, that’s definitely a thing. Man.

Ok, Wizard next has the “10 biggest creators of the comic book world.” There wouldn’t be anything controversial about this, no sir! First up (at #10) is Eastman and Laird. I … guess so? #9 is Neal Adams. Will Eisner checks in at #8. In the section labeled “Why he’s #8,” Wizard depressingly begins with: “Never heard of him?” which is sad because I’m sure a lot of their audience had not heard of Eisner. Impressively, the have both Kane and Finger at #7; good on Wizard for not forgetting Finger’s contributions. Alex Ross is #6, which isn’t surprising considering how much Wizard loves them some Alex Ross. Miller is #5, which, sure. Siegel and Shuster are #4, which, duh. Moore is #3, Kirby is #2, and Lee is #1. Not surprising, nor controversial. The only ones I’m not too sure about are Eastman and Laird and Ross. Eastman and Laird hit it big, sure, but Dave Sim kind of paved the way for them, as well as several others. Ross is just a really good artist. Steranko isn’t on the list, nor, say McFarlane or Lee, who had a much bigger impact on comics, both visually and in a business sense, than Ross did. But that’s just quibbling. It’s a decent enough list, I guess!

Then Wizard does something that seems designed to piss people off. They don’t list “comics’ greatest characters,” they list “characters that make comics great.” It’s a subtle distinction, but it does allow them some wiggle room, and they can put someone other than Batman at the top and justify it pretty well (I mean, it’s not a surprise — in the annals of comics, there are only two choices for greatest character ever). Anyway, they start off with Iron Man, which, I guess. #9 is Jim Gordon, which seems like a bit of a reach. If so, Rorschach at #8 really feels like a reach — I get the impulse, and Rorschach is certainly a compelling character, but #8 of all time? The rest of the list is fairly boilerplate: Magneto, Wolverine, Superman, Captain America, Dr. Doom, Batman, and Spider-Man. I don’t have an issue with the list, certainly (beyond minor problems with #9 and #8), but it seems like Wizard could have done the “characters that make comics great” that they promised rather than “greatest characters” to showcase lesser-known ones that make comics such an interesting art form. But, I mean, sure, Batman and Spider-Man sure are kewl, aren’t they? (Their top five teams: the X-Men, the Legion, the FF, the JLA, and the Avengers at #1, which has recency bias written all over it!)

There’s a long article about the X-Men movie, of course, and it’s pretty decent and in-depth. There are interviews with Singer (yuck), Romijn-Stamos, Park, Jackman, Paquin, and Mane (it appears that Wizard did all the interviews except the Romijn-Stamos one, which they note is taken from a website). There’s nothing too revolutionary in hindsight, but at the time, it was neat hearing about the prosthetics and the special effects and whatnot. Jackman thought the on-screen Wolverine would be very popular, and what do you know? He was right! I know, shocking!

Moving on, on page 90 Loeb and Sale cast a Batman: Dark Victory movie. Casting movies is always fun! They pick Russell Crowe as Batman, which, at the time, was a banger choice. Crowe was around 35 at the time and had just finished Gladiator (which hadn’t been released quite yet), so he was pretty much at the peak of his powers. He would have crushed it as Batman. They have Jennifer Lopez as Catwoman, which I think would have worked well. She was 30/31 at the time and had just proven that she could act a little in Out of Sight (she’s not the greatest actor, but she’s not terrible), so I think she could have handled it. As Robin, they cast Frankie Muniz, which is not a bad choice. Muniz was 14/15 at the time, and while I’m not sure he’s a very good dramatic actor, he probably could have done a decent job with the part. Ray Liotta is their Joker, which is kind of great? Liotta was in his mid-40s, and he always had that live wire vibe going on with his acting, so sure (he’s almost playing the Joker in Something Wild, anyway!). I like Kevin Spacey as Two-Face, especially at the time, and it’s aged pretty well, you have to admit. The DA in the comic is Janice Porter, and L & S cast Gillian Anderson, which is fine with me. As Commissioner Gordon, they pick Guy Pearce (maybe they just watched L.A. Confidential before they were asked for their choices?), which is also a good pick. The only problem I have with that is that Pearce is actually a few years younger than Crowe, which … did beat cop Gordon comfort Young Bruce in Loeb and Sale’s world? Seems hard to do with this choice. Still, Pearce is a good actor, so it’s fine. Angelina Jolie is their choice for Poison Ivy, which is fine. The appeal of Jolie has always escaped me, but people seem to like her, so ok. She was 24/25 at the time and had just won an Oscar (a world where Jolie has an Oscar and Jennifer Jason Leigh doesn’t is a sad one indeed!), so sure. They have John Malkovich as Calendar Man, which is pretty great. He was 46 or so at the time and had just done Being John Malkovich, so doing weird stuff as Julian Day wouldn’t have been a stretch. For Mario Falcone, they pick Andy Garcia, which is fine. I like Garcia, but he’s not the greatest actor, but he’s in the movie just to look menacing, which he can do. As Sofia Falcone, they pick Kathy Bates, which is a great choice. Bates had recently turned 50 and was still on her 1990s heater that began with her Oscar for Misery, so she would have killed in the role. The other Falcone, Alberto, they give to John Turturro, and Turturro is always interesting, so this is a good choice. Finally, they cast Steve Buscemi as the Riddler. I like Buscemi, of course, but this is a weird choice. I think he could have pulled it off, but it might have been a bit jarring. We’ll never know! Anyway, that’s a good cast. DC, of course, ignored it and never made the movie!

Wizard has a fun article about Kevin Smith’s Clerks cartoon getting pushed to the summer because, according to Smith, they wanted to run Who Wants to Be a Millionaire “eight or nine times a week,” while Disney/ABC claimed the show wasn’t ready. It’s fun because Smith is never shy about expressing his opinion, and the article ends with him saying, “Fuck ABC, I say. Fuck ’em hard, the liars.” Good stuff! ABC ended up airing only two episodes. Oh well.

The rumors page is fun. Angelina Jolie was rumored to be playing Lara Croft, and hey, she did! Guillermo del Toro (famed director of Mimic) was rumored to be shooting Blade II, and hey, he did! Alley Baggett was starring in a movie based on the character modeled after her, Alley Cat, shooting for which was starting in a few months. Um … no. Oh dear. Wizard has the news that Johnny Depp would play Abberline in From Hell, but they note that Nigel Hawthorne was being considered for William Gull, a role which Ian Holm ended up with. They also mention that Terence Stamp was in the cast, but he was not in the final one — I wonder what part he was supposed to play. Adam Sandler was rumored to play the Greatest American Hero, but that movie never came off. The latest rumor about a new Wonder Woman involved Shannon Elizabeth of American Pie. She was in her late 20s at the time and is, I think, a bit of an underrated actor, so that might have worked, but it never happened. The last item mentions that The Rock (no actual name, which cracked me up) would play a villain in the second Mummy movie. The picture accompanying the blurb is glorious:

(It’s at this time that I should mention that my retailer recently had an Alley Cat figure on his shelves for 8 bucks, and I snapped that thing up faster than you can say “pneumatic.” It doesn’t stand particularly well, so I’ll have to lean it somewhere, and that sword isn’t straight, but it’s still glorious!)

Keeping with their theme of “greatest” things, Wizard gives us their five best superhero movie/television shows. They are: Batman, Batman Beyond, Blade, Superman, and at #1, Batman: The Animated Series. I don’t have a problem with the list (I mean, Superman II is better, but whatever), but it is wild that back in 2000, the pickings were so slim that this could be a top 5 list and no one would really bat an eye.

In the “Basic Training” section, usually Wizard asks an artist to illustrate something specific, but this time, they write about what makes a comic great. It’s kind of fascinating. They break down the arc of a story, what makes a good cover, how to use splash pages, showing instead of telling (yep, they really do, because we always need to know it!), and using subplots and cliffhangers. It’s neat.

For the “Drawing Board” section, in which readers send in art, the winner was a woman from beautiful Mesa, AZ, with this Magdalena, which is pretty keen:

Honestly, the three runners-up were nothing to write home about (he says, after drawing a stick figure and a triangle on top of a square with a curlicue of smoke coming from it and calling it a masterpiece), so I’m not surprised this one won.

There are toys, and statues, and video games, and anime, which gives Wizard a reason to list their five greatest Japanese cartoons. They put Akira at #5, which should probably invalidate the list (Akira is super-awesome), but then get to Pokémon, Ranma 1/2, Ghost in the Shell, and Mobile Suit Gundam. How many of these would be on the list if they made it today?!?!?!?

The X-Men movie made people want to find back issues, so Wizard expands their buried treasure section with “important” firsts for various characters from the movie. How many do you own???? (I own two.)

They also have their chart-toppers from five years earlier, when … Sovereign Seven was in the top 10?!?!?

You know you get your top ten creators, with an appearance by ChrisCross. Good for him!

Deep in the price guide, Wizard counts down the 40 greatest comics ever. How did they determine them? Don’t ask foolish questions, fools! I’m not going to list them all, but I will note that #40 is Animal Man #15, the one with Dolphin. Yep. I mean, Watchmen is #1, so it’s not like they’re picking “greatest comics you’ve never heard of” or something, but it is a very, very weird list. Not bad, per se, just … weird.

And so we reach the end of another issue of Wizard. As usual, we must check out some of the advertisements within, because they’re always a treat!

Thanks for reading, everyone. What’s next? Beats me. I’ll find out when I go into the garage and see which issue I got next!!!!