After getting a couple of issues in a row, I skipped the next few, so let’s jump ahead to December 1998 and Wizard #88, which features a sweet cover by Bill Reed’s favorite artist ever, Jim Calafiore!
In his usual column at the beginning of the issue, Gareb Shamus notes that DC is buying WildStorm, an event which kind of snuck up on everyone, if he’s to be believed. He thinks it will be great for fans, and what do you know? he was right, as the next few years of WildStorm brought us brilliant comic after brilliant comic. Good job, DC! Make sure you piss off Alan Moore again in the midst of all this goodwill!
In the letters, some dude writes in that he uses the JLA membership card that Wizard provided in one of their issues as a student ID card to get into movies for less money. Nobody ever challenges him! Good for that dude, sticking it to the man! Another dude writes asking if the lead singer from Monster Magnet (“one of the coolest rock bands around,” according to him) was really a comic book fan and was really in a Frank Miller comic. Apparently, yes on both counts — Miller put him in the Amazing Spider-Man Annual #14, so dig that out and give it a look! Wizard, being the progressive mag it is, ends an answer to one of the questions with this line: “Gee, I wonder if Lois Lane knows Supes is a fairy.” Good job, Wizard! (Someone asked how Superman could fly, and Mark Waid said he didn’t want to try to explain it because it would take all the magic out of it, so he just said fairy dust, leading Wizard to come up with that line.) Also, in the “art on the envelopes” section, we find this Scud-drawn one from a certain Nicholas Gurewitch:
If that’s not the Nicholas Gurewitch who does “The Perry Bible Fellowship,” I’ll eat my hat. Good for him!
On pages 24-27, Wizard speculates about who will take over the X-books after Joe Kelly and Steven T. Seagle, who last time we checked in with them were planning to write the books for decades, quit due to “creative differences” with the editors. Oh, those lousy creative differences! According to the writers, the editors — led by Bob Harras, whose name just typifies quality comics! — dictated the direction of the books and often imposed changes on them. We saw this happen with Claremont at the end of his tenure, and it’s probably continues to this day. You know, because Claremont had so much editorial interference when he made the book a juggernaut, so of course the editors know best! Harras is quoted: “I don’t see where ‘editorial driven’ is a great sin. [Of course he doesn’t!] The public expects certain things and it’s the fan’s vision we need to cater to.” Man, what a statement. With any art, you need to give the people what they need, not necessarily what they want. And gosh, an editor thinking the editor is the most important person in the creative process? How shocking!!!! Anyway, Wizard checks out the candidates for the new writer. They give Joe Casey the lowest odds, followed by Alan Davis (who was taking over on a temporary basis and lasted, it seems, probably a bit longer than he thought he would), Fabien Nicieza (blech), Joe Harris (they didn’t think he’d get the gig because he was too new to the business), Claremont, Dan Jurgens (Harras wonders to Wizard why he didn’t think of Jurgens; it’s because he’s the tapioca pudding of comics, Bob!), Waid, David, and Byrne. Casey, of course, eventually took over the gig in a few years, but he didn’t last much longer than his buddies Kelly and Seagle, and Claremont did come back briefly, but the late ’90s were not a good time for the X-Men. Meanwhile, a sidebar noted that The Maxx was on hiatus because Sam Kieth was “in Europe directing a film.” I pointed this out just to note Kieth’s recent death. He was only 63. Dang it. They also have their “thumbs up, thumbs down” section on page 30, in which they criticize the lateness of Danger Girl and Battle Chasers. “Didn’t we learn anything from the launch of Image?” Wizard wonders. Oh, you foolish, foolish magazine writers. Of course we didn’t! Meanwhile, Jim Shooter was planning to launch yet another comics company, Daring Comics, which did not appear to get off the ground. Keep reaching for the stars, Jim! Wizard also notes the launch of The Authority, which was coming soon, and Ross’s Earth X, in which Thor was (gasp!) a woman! Thank FSM that never made its way into the real Marvel U! Finally, there’s a note about Marvel Island of Adventure at the Universal Studios park in Orlando. Apparently, this is still open, as Disney had no say in the contract when it took over Marvel. I’ve never been there — has anyone?
Beginning on page 38, Wizard gives us a look inside Joe Madureira’s studio. It’s a lot. There are, as if you can’t guess, a ridiculous amount of manga videos, CDs, and various figures and props. There’s also a hand-written phone number list that sounds so archaic today, a note on his calendar about a Matchbox 20 concert coming up (the dude was 23 at the time, so I guess we have to cut him some slack), and, of course, a video game console and hundreds of games. Joe Mad seemed to disappear down a video game hole for some years, so I guess it’s good he plays a lot of them! It is a very-very-1990s, dude-in-his-20s bro cave. Joe Mad is living the dream!
The next article is about Pokémon. Oh, Pokémon. It’s astonishing to think of a world without Pokémon in it, but I grew up in that world, so there! (And, I’m sure, so did a lot of you guys.) It’s a good primer article, but it’s just hilarious to read it, because there really was a time when no one in the States knew what it was. That would, of course, quickly change. (I should note I still have no experience with Pokémon. I never played the game and I have never watched any of the shows related to it. Oh well!)
On pages 48-53, Wizard has an interesting article/interview with Devin Grayson, who was a hot writer in comics at the time. I haven’t read a ton of Grayson’s work, but she’s fine as a writer, and it’s neat that Wizard has such an extensive article about, you know, a woman. Grayson faded away a bit after her run on Nightwing, although she continued to pop up every now and then and still contributes stories to things occasionally. At the time, she was dating Mark Waid, but before you cry nepotism, she met him after she began working in comics. I don’t know how long they were together, but they aren’t now! Grayson also mentions a creator-owned DC thing she was working on about a group of siblings with superpowers traveling the DC United States, which sounds neat but didn’t, it seems, ever get published. So sad!
Next is another profile, this one of Paul Dini. Wizard begins the article provocatively: “Few writers have redefined Batman. Frank Miller is one of them. Denny O’Neil, too. And Paul Dini.” It’s a bold statement, but not a completely inaccurate one. More people probably experienced Dini’s animated Batman (and future Batman) than those who experienced it through comics, so, sure. It’s a good interview about his animated work, with a little comics stuff thrown in. It’s pretty interesting. Then, Wizard has an article in which Dr. Stuart Fischoff, “a tenured professor of media psychology at California State University, Los Angeles” (Fischoff got his bachelor’s and master’s at Penn State, so of course he must be a genius!), psychoanalyzes supervillains, which is a lot of fun. Dr. Doom clearly has an Oedipal fixation, says Fischoff. The Joker might be beyond hope, unfortunately. Magneto is clearly suffering from paranoia, and Fischoff suggests he spend more time with those who accept him as a mutant, which he does quite often and it doesn’t seem to help. Selina Kyle is a victim of childhood abuse, which can, of course, mess a person up, and Fischoff believes she needs to be shown that she can receive greater rewards than those that crime gives her if she pursues a better path. Otto Octavius might need a CT scan, as Fischoff wonders if his sudden fits of rage are the result of a tumor or other trauma in his brain. And, of course, Lex Luthor just suffers from a massive ego. There’s no helping those chodes, as we see from the example of our current Fragile Leader.
As we know, Wizard is a big fan of Spider-Man, so they have an article about the Spidey relaunch and the secrecy surrounding it (secrecy imposed and enforced by Bob Harras, doing his level best to keep running Marvel into the ground). They interview Howard Mackie about the relaunch, but he’s nice and vague (Mackie might be a lousy writer, but he could toe the company line!), so it’s all so much fluff. One answer sticks out, about Mary Jane’s status: “Everybody agrees that having Peter and Mary Jane married is less interesting, because any romantic tension has been missing,” Mackie said. This, friends, is a person who does not know how to write. But that’s just my opinion. Apparently, most people agree that, as bad as the Spider-Man books were before the relaunch, the actual relaunch might be the nadir of the character. I guess Harras shouldn’t be too excited about it in this article!
On page 72, Wizard does its casting thing again to give us a Thor movie! Dang, this should be fun. The problem is that late-1990s Thor, like so much of Marvel, was a bit of a clusterfuck, so keep that in mind as Wizard casts characters who would disappear and never return. For Thor, they cast Ralf Moeller. Whodafuq? Moeller is a bodybuilder who has done some acting, usually as the big tough guy, although he was Conan in the television show that aired at this time. I have no idea if Moeller is any good at acting, but I’m glad that when Marvel did get around to making this movie, they cast someone who might be a big dude, but also did some “real” acting rather than just playing the heavy in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. But here’s what’s weird: Wizard cast Edward Burns as Jake Olson, Thor’s alter ego. I mean, I’m glad that Hemsworth didn’t have one in the movie, but did Wizard expect there to be a flash of lightning and have Moeller turn into Burns? I guess? Burns is fine — he’s kind of a bland actor, but I guess that’s what you’d be going for with this move. Burns is nine years younger than Moeller, so that would have been a bit odd, too. They cast Sela Ward as Jane Foster, which is fine. As Odin, they cast Dan Haggerty, which … I kind of love? Haggerty was in his mid-50s at the time and hadn’t done much of note since his Grizzly Adams days 20 years earlier, but he was still working, and I think it would have been pretty cool. Hopkins brings his British gravitas to the role, sure, but Haggerty would have brought some good old-fashioned ‘Murican wackiness to the role. Apparently, Jake Olson had a fiancée, Hannah Fairmont, and Wizard cast Janine Turner to play her. I have always liked Turner, and I’m sure she would have been fine in the role. Turner had a brief “It Girl” moment in the mid-1990s, but it didn’t last and her star quickly faded, but maybe starring in a big-budget Thor movie would have turned that around! Olson also has a paramedic buddy, Demitrius, and Wizard puts Tommy Davidson in that role. I guess. They actually do a good job with the Warriors Three: George Buza is Volstagg (Buza has had a long career in voice talent but just a minor one in front of the camera, so I’m not sure why Wizard picked him), Scott Glenn as Hogun (which is kind of excellent casting), and Cary Elwes as Fandral, which is really excellent, as he could basically play a slightly older Westley. They cast Hudson Leick as the Enchantress — another actor who’s famous for, it seems, looking good in not a lot of clothing, so good for her. Finally, they cast James Woods as Loki. Woods was almost 50 at the time, so he might have been a bit too old for the role, but that’s a good choice, as Woods always brings a twitchy energy to his work, even as he’s gotten older (and, it should be noted, entirely too Trumpy). But that’s a pretty good choice, even though Hiddleston really nailed the role when Marvel finally made the movie. So, that’s their cast. While I don’t love their Thor/Jake choices and it’s too linked to the early part of the Jurgens run (neither Hannah nor Demitrius stuck around very long, it seems), some of their choices are pretty darned cool.
Ok, moving on, Wizard checks in with movies and television, because we need to know about that, too! Jeff Smith was working on an animated feature version of Bone, which never came to fruition. Todd McFarlane directed the animated video of Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution,” which you can watch here. After some time dropping short briefs about it into the magazine and instead focusing on crap that never got made, Wizard actually takes the time to write a bit about Blade, which was doing well at the box office and was getting at least one sequel (David Goyer wanted to do two more, and he got his wish!). There was also a notice about Peter Jackson doing The Lord of the Rings, which is impressive considering it wouldn’t come out for another three years. Wizard also says that Sarah Michelle Gellar is the front-runner to play Rogue (she did not), Marv Wolfman sued everyone because he claimed ownership of Blade and Deacon Frost and says he wasn’t consulted about their use in the movie (he failed), and Jim Carrey might play the Grinch … something else that did happen, but the movie didn’t show up for another two years!
Moving on, Bill’s favorite artist is back, as Califiore shows us how to use shadows. This is pretty cool, actually. Wizard always has neat artists writing about neat things! Next we get some new action figures that are showing up, including an Astro City line and Bone line, both of which look keen. There’s also a Turok-fighting-a-dinosaur figure, a Grendel mask, an Endless PVC set, and a Wolverine Christmas ornament, which I really want. Limited to 5000? Come on, people! Then, we get to the make-your-own section, which features this wild (non-winning) Marrow figure:
There are some new characters on Wizard‘s Top 10 Heroes and Villains on pages 108-109, so let’s take a look: Spawn is #1, followed by Wolverine, Witchblade, and Batman. Nothing too new there. Joe Mad’s Calibretto is #5, Thor is #6, Captain America is #7, Nightwing is #8, Fathom is #9, and Daredevil is #10. Man, I skip a few months and so many new characters become h-o-t-t! Who knew? Their “Mort of the Month” is Doctor Sun. Apparently, he was defeated by H.E.R.B.I.E. Yeah, that’s not a good look.
Next, we get some reviews. They didn’t love X-Men #75-80, which isn’t surprising as the book was kind of a mess at that time. They love Jurgens’s Thor relaunch, claiming it could join the Simonson run in terms of greatness. I’ve never read this early part of Jurgens’s work on the title. Is it that good? His later stuff, when Thor takes over the world, might be the best thing I’ve ever read by him, so maybe the early stuff is good, too? They also checked out Legion of Super-Heroes #103-108 and Legionnaires #59-65 and hated them. It was too insular and goofy for them! They continued to dig Savage Dragon, too, which isn’t terribly surprising.
Wizard gets to their top 10 creators, and … I mean, you know, it’s the familiar faces. Some new ones, but mostly just the usual suspects. And we’re back to no chicks, because Wizard just couldn’t figure them ladies out!
On page 133, we find the top 10 back issues. Battle Chasers #1 and Danger Girl #1 are the top 2, which isn’t surprising, but Wizard is a bit gobsmacked that Pat Lee’s Darkminds #1 is #3. Uncanny X-Men #350 is #4, the holofoil altenate of Witchblade #25 is #5, and Spider-Girl #1 checks in at #6. Mutant X #1 — hey, remember Mutant X? — is #7, while KISS: Psycho Circus is still hanging around at #8. Nightwing #1 and Daredevil #1 round out the top 10. They take a look back 5 years, which is always a treat:
As we hit the back pages of the magazine, I found this fun, supposedly silly list: Top 10 repercussions of DC buying WildStorm. They’re all goofy (“Detective Chimp leads StormWatch to glory,” for instance), but #8 is … “Alan Moore gets to quit DC a second time.” Dang, Wizard, way to try to be funny but hit the nail on the head! On the final page, they do their usual look back to a month coinciding with the month of the mag’s publication, and we get a story from November 1980, when Wolfman and Pérez kickstarted the Teen Titans. Who was on top of the charts at that time? I’m so glad you asked — it was Kenny Rogers with “Lady.” You’re humming it now!
As we end another glance through old Wizard magazines, let’s take a look at some ads! Those are always nifty! (Sorry, there aren’t as many wacky ones as usual, so the selection is a tiny bit limited!)
Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed it!
